Give Voice to Hunger

Originally published on Extratone, and it looks a lot better there.

The world today is a wealth of topics and perspectives, but daily biological functions are universal.

Everybody gets hungry, and we are in the everybody business!

Carter Wilkerson has been hungry for some time now, according to someone familiar with the matter. Yesterday, in agony, he resolved within himself to cease the toleration of his famine, and bravely typed a message on Twitter to Wendy’s — a national chain of restaurants where people often eat — pleading for justice. He wanted to know just how many supporters would have to stand up for his wellbeing before the company would do the right thing, and provide him his deserved nuggets.

As the whole world watched, they replied: 18 million retweets, and Carter will be able to eat.

Helping Carter is very easy: just retweet!

You won’t just be helping him, either. You’ll be letting all of your followers know — along with anyone stopping by your profile — that you like it when people eat, and that you like to eat, too! That passerby might just be looking for someone who also likes to eat and decide to follow you! Bonus!

The previous retweet record is about three million, so it’s going to take a lot of supportive allies, but hey — what’s more important than eating!?

I love eating and food more than anything else in the world, and that sentiment — as well as sharing it with others — is an essential component of my identity. I’m so lucky that my lifetime is spanning the greatest renaissance in the history of human communication.

Without intellectually and culturally enriching technologies like Twitter, how would Carter tell the world that he is hungry?!

How would I?

Thanks in large part to our generation, the exchange of ideas is more democratized than ever, and Twitter has played a huge role in establishing today’s current social media palette. If the speculation as to the likelihood of its demise has any basis in reality, perhaps it’s time for us to begin securing its legacy.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be remembered for my food memes, not my stance on whatever current affairs garbage happened to be bouncing around.

Regimes, ideologies, public figures, corporate entities, and human lives come and go, but I will always have to eat!

I mean, come on.

I don’t give a shit about Syria; I’m hungry!

Ha!

And you don’t want to talk to me when I’m hungry! I lose all self-awareness and abandon any control of my person!

My friends (the ones who like to eat) and I have been using a new word we made up to describe this primal, pitiful state of being: hangry. Hungry and angry!

The best jokes are always the ones involving the consumption of food and its tremendous power over my life.

Hangry me? Unprincipled. Rabid.

A thief? Possibly.

A liar? Probably.

An abuser? Who knows?!

Food is everything to me, and meals are the milemarkers of my life.

What am I doing after I finish this piece?

I’m going to eat.

What would I do if you walked in the room at this moment with a delicious, gooey chocolate cupcake?

Abandon the job, of course!

And give you everything.

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Editor-in-Chief, Neoyokel, Angst Wrangler. Writes about technology and culture intersecting across time and class. | davidblue@extratone.com

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David Blue

David Blue

Editor-in-Chief, Neoyokel, Angst Wrangler. Writes about technology and culture intersecting across time and class. | davidblue@extratone.com

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